I Scream Jolene

by Jennifer Dickinson
from 10 x 10 Flash

Damn it Mama, all I want to do is kidnap the truck and drive it out of this old dusty town, and follow you to Nashville. I picture your drive: Sunflower stalks reach up to the sky. Ducks swim in a river. Cows mow down grass. "I Will Always Love You" plays on the radio and you melt the air with your voice. 

When I need a laugh I remember: the one tiny bleached streak in your jet black hair. I think of how you’d flick your hair up when Daddy said: Get over here, woman, and I’d see that little streak of yellow and you’d wink at me and it was our secret, forever besties, you and me, your little ten-year-old Emmeline. 

I want to be a swan. I want to be an eagle. I want to be a blue jay in the window, peering in at all of us, lost since you left. What do all of these things have in common? Well, that’s obvious. They’re smarter than everyone in this town who says you should’ve stayed behind and raised us, a bunch of wriggling kids instead of going to Tennessee to pursue your dreams.

Everyone wants to forget you. So, I scream “Jolene.” I scream: “Nine To Five.” I swung and missed Jessie’s jaw last night when she called you a deadbeat and she got me right between the eyes. Now my forehead is black and blue and that little rat face is probably still laughing.  

Daddy said one day he’ll tap dance on your grave and I wanted to get his goat because how dare he say such a thing about MY MOM and HIS WIFE so I watched a Youtube video and now I’m tap dancing all over the house in a pair of tap shoes I made myself with scrap metal from his shop. Because screw him. I’m gonna make a racket until the end of time. 

MAMA, I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU, and I’m saving my money. So far I’ve got eight dollars. One day you’ll look up and there I’ll be: sitting in the front row at the Opry, watching you belt out a hit, twisting my hair up, showing you my own bleached streak.